August 30, 2021
This morning as I write, I’m hearing a drill in the background. It sounds and feels like a loud dentist’s drill though it is not in my mouth. Still, I feel that weird body vibration just thinking about it.
Yet, I’m sitting here writing to you and feeling focused and attentive to the message at the same time.
It’s something I learned as a student of mindfulness many years ago.
In the form of mindfulness meditation I practice, there is a 10 minute segment that involves focusing on whatever is going on around you.
During those 10 minutes, with eyes closed, I listen to the sounds of birds outside, cars driving by, dishwasher humming, people talking, TV in a distant room, my heart beating, my throat clearing, my body shaking momentarily, etc.
Instead of feeling distracted by those ‘noises’, I take them in, absorb them, focus on them, even enjoy them.
As I breathe in those sounds and other things I would normally deem ‘distractions’ to my meditation, I become accustomed to being in the moment, whatever it brings.
Right now, the moment is bringing this blog appearing on the screen of my laptop. As my fingers pound away at the keys, I hear and physically feel the drill in my ears, my mouth, and my stomach. I am aware of saliva moving down my throat as if preparing for a drill to enter my mouth, and I am not overwhelmed or distracted from my writing by any of it.
The awareness of my inner and outer world without any piece of it standing in the way of my inner peace and focus, is one of the gifts of mindfulness. It is as if my ability to be present, to focus mainly on what I am doing without being bothered by the simultaneity of life in the moment, has expanded.
Awareness is, in and of itself, what mindfulness is all about. There are, of course, other segments of my daily practice: focus on the breath, focus on the body, focus on thoughts, focus on the silence. All of these add together to create an inner stillness in the midst of both inner and outer activity.
In Step One of the 7 Steps to Be A Loving Mirror (BALM) we say “Be the peace you wish to see in the world.”
This peace is ours to experience and live, through the chaos of another’s active SUD or other challenges, and through our own. When we practice daily, our lives begin to reflect that peace inwardly and outwardly and all is well, even in an outer world that may look anything but peaceful through eyes lacking daily practice.
To learn how to bring your attention inward in order to increase your peace as well as your ability to contribute to your loved one’s recovery, join us for the upcoming 7 Steps to Be A Loving Mirror Retreat. You will have time to cultivate your inner calm while learning conversational tools that will help you contribute more effectively to your loved one’s recovery. Sign up here.
And remember - Be A Loving Mirror.
Beverly Buncher, MA, PCC, CBFRLC, CTPC, known as the "Foremost Family Recovery Life Coach in the Nation", is the Founder and CEO of Family Recovery Resources, LLC, and the BALM® (Be A Loving Mirror®) Institutes for Family Recovery Coach Training and Family Recovery Education.