Why is the Family's Role of Contributing So Important to a Loved One's Recovery Journey?
Francine was beside herself. Her son Jeremy was using drugs. His girlfriend had just left him, his boss was threatening to fire him, and his kids wouldn’t give him the time of day. As his life began unraveling, he turned to his mom for emotional support and money. He told her he needed her help and would die without it. Francine didn’t pause for even a second. She would do whatever it took to save her son’s life. After all, wouldn’t you?
So, what do you think? Is Francine contributing to Jeremy’s recovery or his addiction?
This idea of contribution is critical to understanding the BALM Program and to benefiting from it. In fact, the first thing a family member learns when they get into the BALM is that they are always contributing either to their loved one’s recovery or their disorder and the program as a whole is all about learning how to start contributing to a loved one’s recovery and stop contributing to their addiction.
Here are some ways to contribute to recovery: - Make peace your path - Get in touch with the deep and abiding love and connection you have with your loved one - Practice seeing your loved one at their best even when they are not at their best - Remember the good times and smile - Practice the 12 Principles of BALM Family Recovery and the 7 Steps to Be A Loving Mirror.
Here are some ways you can contribute to your loved one’s addiction: - Stay in denial - Provide money for rent, food, etc., when the loved one is using their money for drugs - Believe a struggling loved one’s lies or mistruths - Give up on a struggling loved one - Yell at a loved one - Berate a loved one - Increase their stress
Learning the BALM is all about learning the art of contributing to recovery. Each principle and step elaborates on these ideas in order to clarify them and make it second nature for BALM family members to help their loved ones get well.
If you are already in the BALM, dive into the live classes, recordings, workbooks, and materials available and become the peace and love in your family.
If you aren't in the BALM yet, please give us a call at 1-888-998- 2256 Ext 5 and ask for Karen. She will answer your questions and get you enrolled!
Beverly Buncher, MA, PCC, CBFRLC, CTPC, known as the "Foremost Family Recovery Life Coach in the Nation", is the Founder and CEO of Family Recovery Resources, LLC, and the BALM® (Be A Loving Mirror®) Institutes for Family Recovery Coach Training and Family Recovery Education.